Evil Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster

The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is twisting minds around its forked fallacies.

When you research the archaeological records, using the rules of admissible evidence, it is clear that FSM is really the evil anti-pasta!

Pasta was never intended to be so long, skinny, and anorexic! However, just like American pop culture has brain-washed people into unrealistic images of noodly-thin beauty, the noodly alluring FSM is spreading his starchy false message.

The One True Creator is Croxetti and His Holy Spirit-n-cheese-filled son Ravioli. You can objectively see the authenticating imprint of The Creator on every croxetti and the manifest shape of the Father is evident with the Son, ravioli.

Spaghetti cannot be filled with anything and one must be filled in order to be saved. The FSM tries to fake this by rapping up its balls in big yarny noodly tangles to give the false impression of indwelling by a nutritious meaty-substance filling. The Church of the FSM is a false gospel and the FSM a false pasta! Come on, people, can't you see all the gaps in such a feeble fabrication? No matter how many layers he wraps around his big bully balls, there are gaps all over the place at every layer! Only Ravioli has no gaps, is fully filled, and stamped by The Creator.

I am not asking you to exercise blind faith, but to use your rational mind. Think about it, whenever you eat spaghetti, you're hungry again in like 20 minutes. But eat the same amount of WHOLLY FILLED RAVIOLI and you shall be fulfilled for a good hour.

This proves that FSM is nothing but a big-balled bully fraud. He is the evil anti-pasta. Awake! Repent! Turn from your noodly ways while there is yet time! Repent and be filled with the Holy Secret Sauce!

If you do not believe in the One True Croxetti Ravioli and His Holy Prophet, Chef Boyardee, you are all infidels and shall be slaughtered for sauce on the great day of Divino Pranzo!

The One True Gospel: Our Savior and Pastafarian Son, Ravioli was fully the Croxetti, yet He was melded together and filled with the Holy Secret Sauce, manifesting Himself as the Three-In-One true redeeming pasta. In the name of the Croxetti, Ravioli, and Secret Sauce, amen.

The Final Supper is near! Whose plate are you on?

infective.invective